


âme sœur

by Skittles_and_Secrets



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Fluff, Gen, Jeremy Heere is Taller than Michael Mell, M/M, Michael's POV, Minor Angst, Other, POV First Person, Platonic Soulmates, Red String of Fate, Romantic Soulmates, Slow Burn, Tags May Change, Warnings May Change, boyf riends - Freeform, lots of color strings of fate, my own twist on red strings of fate AU, slowish burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:01:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27649244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skittles_and_Secrets/pseuds/Skittles_and_Secrets
Summary: Being a Soulguide is incredibly rare and mysterious. They’ve existed as long as soulmates have, and have left a huge mark on history for such a small part of the population. Soulguides have been kings, prophets, generals, emperors, and conquers. They’ve decided the fates of entire civilizations and billions of people’s lives. And right now, their very existence is ruining my afternoon.------Michael is a Soulguide, one of the few people alive who can see the strings of âme sœur. Sound's fun on the surface, but just being one puts himself and the people he loves in constant danger. With divorced parents, high school drama queens, mysterious phone calls, and impossible expectations hanging over Michael's head, he just hoped he can survive long enough to find his own soulmate.
Relationships: Jake Dillinger/Rich Goranski, Jeremy Heere/Michael Mell, Original Character/Original Character
Comments: 1
Kudos: 28





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What can I say, I'm a one-trick pony. All I can write is modern fantasy.
> 
> I'm just uploading this chapter so that this work doesn't get deleted as a draft and to see if there is interest in this kind of fic. Please LMK by commenting!

Soulmates are real. It’s been accepted since the beginning of recorded history, (and probably longer) Some people are simply made for each other. From Cleopatra and Mark Antony to Michelle and Barack Obama. From William Shakespeare and Anne Hathaway to Adam Sandler and Jacqueline Titone. From the Queen of England and Prince Phillip to my redneck next-door neighbors. Everyone has a soulmate.

_ Everyone. _

Regardless of sexuality, race, health, languages spoken, or where you live, everyone has some kind of soulmate. Asexual people have only platonic and familial soulmates, polyamorous people can have multiple romantic soulmates, and most people have one of each. But everyone has at least one. Having a soulmate isn’t uncommon. Finding them is. 

Or at least finding a romantic soulmate.

This is for two reasons: 

  1. Your soulmate could be literally anyone out of 7.3 billion people on earth. They could speak any language and could be in any country. Once you get past the land and language barrier, you still have to get them to like you. 
  2. There are only about 1,000 people worldwide who can confirm that you’ve actually found your soulmate. The Soulguides. People who can see the strings of âme sœur.



Being a Soulguide is incredibly rare and mysterious. They’ve existed as long as soulmates have, and have left a huge mark on history for such a small part of the population. Soulguides have been kings, prophets, generals, emperors, and conquers. They’ve decided the fates of entire civilizations and billions of people’s lives. And right now, their very existence is ruining my afternoon.

All eleventh graders across the United States must take a test to see if they are a Soulguide. At this point in their life, all Soulguides have figured out that they are a Soulguide. The âme sœur strings are not subtle. A kaleidoscoping array of colorful non-material threads connecting everyone to someone. The test is to make sure any Soulguides are identified because many choose not to register with their government. It’s understandable why a government would want that, but it means I have to be here until 7 PM.

The first round of testing takes about an hour. This is a paper test that eliminates any kids who are obviously not Soulguides. The next two stages are shorter but still take entirely too much time (some of us are AP students!)

There are very few people who go through those stages of testing, so there isn’t much gossip about what happens during this period. The final stage of testing is DNA sampling. This is partially to scan for any genes that would automatically make you not a Soulguide and partially so that they can have your DNA on record.

And since I can see the strings, I’m gonna have to go through it all.

This isn’t all that bad. Being a Soulguide comes with a ton of perks, but the fact that I have to go through the process is tedious. I wish I could walk up to the officials and tell them to skip to stage two, but attention seekers ruin it for all of us. 

When Soulguides were first given benefits from the government, people who wanted to seem cool and abuse the system would lie and say they could see the strings. People like Chloe Valentine. Who was standing next to Brooke in front of me in line.

We all had to line up outside the gym and check in with some Center for Soulguide Detection and Assistance officers before we would be sat down and given the exam. Since we were alphabetical, I was next to Brooke. 

Normally there were two people between us, Jamie Lovely and Katie Mathews. But Jamie moved away and Katie was in the hospital, so it was me right next to Brooke. And therefore, all of Brooke’s friends. 

There was no reason they all had to stand in line with Brooke, but they did. Which made things very awkward for me. 

Jeremy and I were friends, but the rest of them… strongly disliked me. Which is a little weird considering I saved all of their asses in November. 

But I’m not bitter.

Jeremy poked me, pulling me out of my thoughts.

“Do you need a ride home?” he asked.

I smiled. He remembered that my brother had my car, which was nice. He was trying to be a better friend since the SQUIP, so it felt nice when he succeeded. 

“Nah, you’ll probably get out after me. Besides, it’s a nice day, I don’t mind walking.”

He gave me a look and teasingly rolled his eyes before stepping back over with his friends. It was a nice day outside, that much wasn’t a lie, but he clearly doubted either of us would make it past stage one testing.

When he stepped back into their circle, Chloe looked at him and then at me. And gave me a nasty look. 

“What are those white spots on your hand?” she asked, seeming disgusted, “Oh my god! Are they contagious?”

I pulled my red sweatshirt sleeve down to cover the vitiligo spot on my hand and rolled my eyes. 

“We’ve had this exact conversation every month for the past three years. If you're going to bully me, at least be creative about it,” I answered softly.

“Whatever. Just don’t touch me. The last thing I need is some disease right before winter break,” she said, flipping her hair over her shoulder and turning back to their group. 

She hated me for such a stupid reason. We were in the same freshman English class. One day, we got our essays back and she was bullying a kid for getting a 68 so I leaned over and said, “Chloe, you got a 45, you aren’t one to talk.” And that was all it took for her to hate me.

Since then, she's made it her mission to make me miserable and insecure. It doesn’t hurt me as much anymore, but I still dye the section of my hair that's white from vitiligo.

The doors to the gym opened and a man wearing a CSDA uniform stepped out while talking to our principal. The “SQUIP” squad walked back to their places in line and the officers started funneling us into the gym.

The test was uneventful. It was asking questions about empathy, love, and personal connection and having us rate our feelings toward things. I high score meant it was likely you were a Soulguide, a low score meant you got to go home. 

They ran our tests through a machine and went around, pulling people to come to the second stage of testing. They’d set up a few curtained off areas for this stage. There were a few other people in that area with me, but I couldn’t see their faces because of the way the curtains were set up.

They pulled a TV into my “room.” It was one of the old TV’s the school used that only took VHS. They plugged it into the wall, put a tape in it, and then turned to address me.

“You will watch the video and quietly tell me what color string or strings each of the people appearing in it has, and what person they’re connected to,” the CSDA agent, who was clearly dead inside, said.

I nodded turning my head towards the TV. The video was one of those cheesy skits about soulmates, like the ones they show in health. There were 12 total characters and 14 strings between them. 

After I finished, the agent turned to me. He seemed mildly impressed.

“Good job. I’ll be back in a second.” He stood and walked behind the curtains.

I sat there for several minutes. The same video had been playing in other cubicles and was now ending. My classmates were dismissed by the CSDA agents and left. After the gym door closed loudly, the agent from before, two other men carrying a box, and a lady came into my room.

“Michael Mell?” I nodded at her and she continued. “I am Stephanie Park, director of the Center for Soulguide Detection and Assistance. We’ve got a few more questions to ask you, and we need to draw some blood if you don’t mind.”

One of the men with her stepped forward and opened the box. He pulled out several large vials, a needle, and a few other medical supplies. He rubbed my arm down with alcohol and started looking for a vein. As he was working, Director Park stepped over and started asking me some questions.

“Age?” she smiled at me.

“16”

“Date of birth?” she wrote on her clipboard as she spoke.

“September 30th, 2003.”

She smiled and jotted that down. The man next to me let go of my arm and reached for something in his kit.

“These are some questions to make sure you weren’t cheating on the video. I can see the âme sœur strings too, so this should be quick. Can you tell me what color strings Jonathan has?” she gestured to the agent who was in here with me earlier.

“One red, two yellow.”

Different color strings correlated with a different kind of relationship. Red signified a romantic relationship with a romantic soulmate. Yellow signified the same but for platonic relationships. 

Most people had a few platonic strings, but really only one red. It was rare, but some people had multiple red strings. But this was pretty much only super religious people and otherwise polyamorous people.

“Good!”

I felt a pinch in my arm as the man next to me pushed in the needle to draw blood. He tapped my fist to get me to relax. He drew my blood quickly, taking what seemed like 20 vials in about 2 minutes. When he finished, he put them back away in his box, gave me a bandage, and left. I turned back to Director Park.

She handed me a juice box and a cookie and kept talking.

“Great. Can you tell me what color Agent Smith’s strings are?”

“He has one brown and one orange, as well as four black ones.”

An orange string meant a platonic soulmate that could also be romantic, but the relationship would be great either way. A brown string meant an abusive relationship. No one is born with a brown string, they turn that way after you meet them. 

The brown starts on the side of the person being abused. Which it did for agent Smith. 

Director Park gave me a sad smile.

“Good. Now, what color are your strings?”

This was a trick question. 

“I can’t see mine.”

No one could see their own strings.

I took a sip of my juice and looked at her as she nodded. 

“Good. We’re gonna run some tests on your blood and we’ll be back when we’re done. You may want to text your parents so that they know to pick you up soon.”

She and the two other men left the room. 

As she left, I snuck a look at her strings. She had almost ten, and all were black. 

Black strings signified a close relationship with someone dead. Since they weren’t exclusively for soulmates but for any strong relationship, most adults had several black strings attached. 

Though it seems counter-intuitive, it was more tragic to see someone without any non-black ones.

I pulled my phone and headphones out and texted my older brother to come and pick me up. I ate my cookie and messed around on Reddit for a while. I’d just gotten bored when Jeremy texted me.

Player 2: hey!

Player 2: are you mad at me?

Player 2: I didn’t see you leave earlier

He thought I was ignoring him. 

Me: I’m still here. That's why you didn’t see me leave

Player 2: WHAT!!!!!

Player 2: Y R U STILL THERE

Player 2: CAN U SEE THE STRINGS!?!?! CAN U!??!?!?!

Me: ye

Player 2: JESUS F*CK MIKEY

I rolled my eyes at the nickname and put my phone away as the agents came back into the curtained-off room I was in.

Director Park stepped forward and handed me a large yellow envelope

“This has all the information you’ll need for the next few weeks. We’ll contact your parents and school in a few days and we’ll go from there. Have a nice winter break, Michael.”

The three men began breaking things down and packing up. Director Park walked me toward the front entrance where my brother was waiting. She told me to expect contact sometime after Christmas and before New Year’s. She began walking back to the gym.

“Wait! Director Park?” I called after her.

“Call me Stephanie,” she said, turning around, “what do you need?”

“What color are my strings?”

This was the first time I’d met someone who could also see the strings, and I didn’t want to miss out on the opportunity to find out.

She nodded, face full of understanding.

“You have a couple, but this conversation is best suited for another day”

She turned and walked away.

Sighing, I turned and stepped into the freezing outdoor air.

“Why the hell didn’t you tell us you could see the strings Michael?” my brother asked as soon as I put my seatbelt on.

I laughed and stared out the window.

“Didn’t feel like it.”

Truth was, I had told my family and they hadn’t listened. But who would believe a kid? If a seven-year-old came up to you and said that they are a part of the coolest group of people on the planet, would you believe them? No! They’re 100% lying. 

So I understand why they didn’t listen, even though it's a bit unfair.

He was silent for most of the ride home. The quiet hum of our mom’s Taylor Swift CD and rain beginning to splatter against the roof and windows were the only sounds. The roads were silent and empty, which was strange for the Friday before Christmas. 

I got bored of the silence and shifted to face him when we were almost there. 

“How’s school going, Jacob? Are you still with Abby?” I asked.

He sighed. Maybe Abby wasn’t the topic to bring up.

“School is fine. Abby was cheating on me with another guy.”

I cringed. We’d had an awkward relationship since our parents split up a few years ago. Jacob was four years older than me. He’d always stood up for me when we were younger and we were really close. When our dad left, it hit him the hardest. He completely withdrew, to the point that he only spoke around a handful of people.

“It was my roommate.”

I cringed more. His roommate was one of the only people he talked to: Andrew Goranski, Rich’s older brother and Jacob’s only friend for most of high school.

“sh*t. That really sucks,” I said, not sure how to make him feel better. 

I guess there wasn’t any way to make him feel better. 

“Yeah, it does.” His voice was monotone, but his breath caught on his last word.

We pulled into the driveway and got out. The rain had picked up from its gentle drizzle to all but a downpour. In the couple feet between the car and our front door, we got soaked. I opened the front door and stepped inside walking to the tiled kitchen-floor before setting down my soaked bag and taking off my jacket.

“Michael! Mijo! I’m so proud. You’re a Soulguide.” my mom attacked me with a hug as soon as I had put my stuff down. 

I laughed and gently pushed her away. 

“It smells good in here? What are you making?” I said, gesturing to the pots on the stove. 

“Spaghetti. I would have gotten stuff to make something better if you’d told us you’d have good news today!” She said, turning to the stove to finish cooking.

“Spaghetti is great, mom,” I said, setting the table.

After dinner, I sat on my bed with the envelope Director Park had given me. There were several pamphlets with stuff like information for parents, information for college scholarships, information for schools, etc. But one piece of paper was marked “OFICIAL DO NOT LOSE” and was titled “Regulations for Soulguides” followed by a list:

  1. Do not reveal any person’s soulmate 
  2. Do not reveal the color of any person’s strings of âme sœur
  3. Do not search for your own soulmate
  4. Do not drink alcohol or other behavior-altering drugs
  5. Limit physical contact with others
  6. Do not attempt to break another person’s string of âme sœur
  7. Do not reveal that you are a Soulguide on social media or any other public forum. Family and close friends may know about your ability but no more than 5 people may know until further notice.



At the bottom, there was a footnote that said “it is also recommended new Soulguides keep a dream journal and record any unusual events that they experience. This is not required but will aid greatly in our further cooperation with each other. 

Thank you

\- CSDA Director Stephanie Park”

I shot a quick text to Jeremy, Jacob, and my mom telling them that they can’t tell anyone and laid back in bed. Some of the rules I’d been following before now but some of the others didn’t even occur to me. Obviously, I’d never told anyone who their soulmate was, but I didn’t think about limiting physical contact with others. It made sense, even though I hadn’t been following it.

About half of all Soulguides have a special skill that is related to their ability to see the strings. Some people can see the future in their dreams, some people can read others' emotions, some people can make others feel certain emotions, some people can read other thoughts, and some people can change other people’s soulmates. 

I’m assuming that’s why rule #6 was there. That ability was incredibly rare, so that rule must be more cautionary than something the CSDA actually enforced. 

Either way, it’s not like I'd go around trying to cut people’s strings.

I turned off my bedside lamp and went to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed or would change anything or have questions please comment so I can know! 
> 
> Also, this is very much a work in progress so things in this chapter may change. if the change significantly I'll include a summary in chapter two!


	2. Chapter 2

The following morning, a thin blanket of snow coated the grass outside. By the time I’d woken up, my mom had gotten the snow off our driveway and left for work. I finished the little homework I had and sent a text to Jeremy.

Me: Hey!

Me: You wanna hang out?

Player 2: No I can’t

Player 2: Sorry

Me: You’re good.

Player 2: maybe tonight?

Me: Sounds great :)

Player 2: :)

Jacob’s shoes were gone, and since Jeremy wasn’t available, I had nothing to do. I played Guitar and Piano for a while, trying to stave off the inevitable boredom of a Saturday. I’d just finished playing some indie song Jeremy liked when my phone started ringing.

Against my better judgment, I picked up. I had a weird feeling that it was important and not some robocall.

“Michael Mell?” A man asked before I even had a chance to say hello.

His voice was strangely mechanical. Not quite like he was a robot, but not like he was completely human, either. 

“Yes,” I said, not wanting to be rude, regardless of if the man was a robot or not.

“We know you are a Soulguide. Do not tell anyone you have received this call. Do not tell your family, Stephanie Park, or Jeremy Heere. Do you understand?” The man said sternly.

There was no way in hell this was a legit call. Jeremy or Jacob and some friends were f*cking with me. 

“Very funny,” I said, rolling my eyes even though they couldn’t see, “who told you?”

There was a pause from the other side of the phone.

“We are not associated with any of your friends, Michael. This is not a prank call.” the man sounded almost amused.

“Oh, I’m sure. Prove it.”

There was a soft rustling on the other side of the line.

“The first string you could see was your parents’. It was green, starting with your father.” 

Anyone could have guessed that my parents’ string had turned green. You don’t get a divorce if you’re happily married, so their string was either brown or green. I guess a loveless marriage between parents was better than an abusive one, but it still sucked.

Regardless of how rough my parents' divorce was for me, it was very clean, leading anyone to the conclusion that their strings would be green.

As if sensing that I still didn’t believe, the man continued, “You’ve had a crush on your friend Jeremy Heere since the seventh grade.”

I was silent. It was fairly obvious nowadays that I had a crush on Jeremy, but that was only since the start of this school year. Before September, I would have taken that secret to the grave and I’d never told anyone.

Only an empathic Soulguide would have been able to figure that out. And they’d have to have been watching me since before seventh grade.

“Yes, Michael. We’ve been watching you for quite a while. Do not tell anyone you’ve received this call,” the man said before the line went silent and the dial tone played. 

I felt out of breath, shaky, and like I was about to fall off the piano bench. I was starting to panic and my head was spinning as I tried to get a grip. I slowly slid off the bench and onto the floor, putting myself in a safer position in case I passed out.

Whoever these people were, regardless of their intentions, they were bad news. I was in danger just for picking up the phone, and there was nothing I could do about it. But I was definitely not telling anyone and putting them or myself in more danger.

When I finally calmed down, I started researching. The phone number was a 201 number - which is the Middle Borough area code. It didn’t show up as a payphone. That narrowed it down but still left me with no clue about who was calling. I googled to see if any other Soulguides had experienced something similar and posted online. There weren’t any first-hand accounts (not that I’d really expected there to be) but there was a news story from the ’80s. 

It was about a high school boy, who was posthumously confirmed to be a Soulguide, who killed himself. He built a bomb and set it off while he was holding it on his highschool’s football field. His girlfriend reported that he’d been getting weird phone calls from people who knew he was a Soulguide. It was only two days after he told her that he died. 

The article also said that his highschool had experienced a slew of suicides that fall. Because of this, several people believed that he himself was depressed and was able to control other’s emotions. He must have gotten very upset, projected that on to another person and that person killed themselves. It was a tragedy, and a cautionary tale to all Soulguides, control yourself.

It was even more of a cautionary tale to me. I doubted that that kid really wanted to kill himself. I couldn’t put myself in danger because I wanted to tell someone. If it becomes a problem, I'd have to address it then.

I played the piano some more, trying to ground myself further. I didn’t even notice that it had gotten late until my phone rang again. 

“Hey, Jer-Bear,” I said, answering his call.

“Michael,” he started, stress clear in his tone, “I’ve been texting you for like an hour. Answer my text.”

I looked at my phone. 45 missed messages from Player 2.

“Sorry, Jer. I was practicing piano and I had my phone off.”

He gave a small laugh.

“It’s fine. Can you answer my questions now, though,” he said, his exhaustion clear in his tone.

“Yeah.” I glanced at his texts. “Of course you can stay over. Are you fighting with your dad or something?”

“Or something. Yeah,” He said, seeming a little happier.

“Come over whenever you can. See you soon. Bye.” 

“See you soon. Bye,” He replied before hanging up the phone.

I looked around and realized that the house was a mess. I normally wouldn’t bother cleaning that much for Jeremy, but he hadn’t been over that much since the SQUIP.

I spent about ten minutes picking up before he rang the doorbell.

“Hey, Jer-Bear!” I smiled as I opened the door, then frowned a little. “Your eyes are red, you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He brushed me off as he stepped inside. 

“Bad day?” I asked.

“You could say that,” he said as we walked downstairs to the basement.

“What do you want for dinner?” I asked, trying to recover the conversation.

“Whatever’s fine.” 

“Pizza sound good?” I offered.

“Yeah.” He shut down the conversation again.

I texted my mom telling her that Jeremy was staying the night and then I opened my dominoes app and ordered pizza. I wasn't going to force him to talk.

We sat in silence for a while, awkwardly staring at each other.

“So, you’re a Soulguide. That’s cool,” he said, breaking the silence.

“Yeah." I paused for a second before hurridly adding, "and before you ask I’m not allowed to tell you who your soulmate is."

It’s not like I could have told Jeremy who his soulmate was anyway. He had a few yellow strings, which were not attached to anyone I'd paid attention to, a pink (family) one attached to his dad, and one black one, but I didn’t see a red string attached to him.

“I wasn’t going to ask that,” He said teasingly, suggesting that he was actually going to ask me, “what else can’t you do? Like you can’t use your ability, and you can’t tell people that you have it. I don’t want to get you arrested or anything.”

“Yeah, it’s kinda weird. I’m not allowed to try to break people’s strings, I can’t even tell people the color of their strings. I can’t get high or drunk. I can’t physically touch people. And I can’t try to find my own Soulmate,” I said, “some of them don’t seem to make sense, but they’re all understandable.”

“I think I get most of them, but why can’t you touch people?”

Most people didn’t know that much about Soulguides. They thought the only thing we were useful for was to find soulmates.

“Some Soulguides have special abilities. In addition to seeing the strings, some can see the future, guide others through the strings, and feel others’ emotions. And most of those abilities are activated by touch.”

He looked at me with his eyes wide.

“Wait what! That's so cool,” he said, giving me a genuine smile. 

I laughed. Seeing Jeremy smile was one of my favorite things in the whole world. He stopped smiling as much during freshman year, when his mom left, so it was a rare occurrence when he did smile.

“It is, but not all soulmates have abilities, so-” 

“-so you probably can’t do that.” He cut me off.

He had this look in his eye like he was amused. It was cute.

“What? What!” I said, laughing at him.

He shook his head and laughed at me. Like I was being stupid, but he was condescending. He seemed… fond.

“You always act like you’re not special. But you are. It’s not like you’re guaranteed to be able to do stuff like that, but it’s definitely not impossible. Don’t sell yourself short Micah,” he said with earnest honesty.

I blushed a little at the nickname and felt my heart beat a little bit faster. Jeremy had a way of making me feel special. I wasn’t, but he made me believe I was.

Before I could respond, the doorbell rang. I grabbed our pizza and a couple napkins and sodas and went back downstairs. Jeremy and I sat on bean bags facing each other as we ate. After dinner, I made some popcorn and we started playing Apocalypse of the Damned. We beat level nine, and then level 10, and then level 11. There were only two more levels left so we called it a night and put on a movie. 

The popcorn was untouched until now. But once we started the movie, we shared it. The space between our beanbags was a little bit too wide to comfortably share the bowl.

“Stop hogging the popcorn,” he teased.

“I’m not! I can barely reach it. It’s closer to you,” I said.

He threw some of the popcorn at me and then pulled the bowl closer to him. 

“Hey!”

I grabbed at the bowl and he pulled it closer to himself.

“Is there a problem, Micah?” He asked, feigning innocence.

I rolled my eyes at him planning my next move. When he turned back to the movie, I slowly scooted over to where he was sitting. I stuck out my arm to reach for the popcorn but before I could grab it he moved it out of the way. Then, he reached over and pulled me on top of him.

“You jerk.” I laughed and struggled to get out of his grip.

Eventually, I managed to wiggle around to a position where I was facing the TV. He put the popcorn on top of me and we kept watching. I leaned into him. His chest was rising and falling behind me, and his heart was beating fast and loud. I tried not to hope that it was because I was on his lap. 

The movie should’ve been awful. I was too distracted by Jeremy’s chest rising and falling behind me to catch much of the plot, but it was bad. The special effects were also horrible and the final fight had an old-looking velociraptor suit. But when it all came together it was actually charming and hilarious. Jeremy and I were laughing the entire time, which is not something either of us did much lately.

After the movie finished, Jeremy put the empty popcorn bowl to the side. I was expecting him to ask me to move, but he didn’t. He put on another movie - _War Games-_ and wrapped his arm around me. I was half asleep before David had even hacked into the supercomputer. 

“Micah?” Jeremy whispered, “you asleep?”

I nodded, too tired to sleep. He reached out for something and then draped a blanket over us. He gently pulled off my glasses and set them off to the side. I rested my head further against his chest and fell asleep.

In the morning, the smell of Breakfast filled the air. Jeremy and I had shifted so that both our heads were resting on the beanbag. His arm was still around me, trapping me against the beanbag. After several minutes of lying awake, blind, Jeremy finally woke up. He found my glasses for me and we went upstairs. 

My mom had made muffins, eggs, and bacon. She left to go have brunch with some friends. Jacob came downstairs and sat at the table. He asked Jeremy about his plan for college and gave some advice, which was the most he’d talked to Jeremy since our dad left. 

After Breakfast, Jeremy and I changed into clean clothes and Jacob left. He seemed to be ok today, so I wasn’t all that worried about him. Jeremy had driven his dad’s car here, and he didn’t need it back, so we went to the mall. 

“Sorry if Jacob seemed weird. His girlfriend was cheating on him.” I said to Jeremy, once we were on our way.

"With who?” he asked.

“His Roommate,” I answered, “Rich’s older brother.”

Jeremy let out a sympathetic sigh. He nodded his head.

“That sucks. That’s sh*tty of Rich’s brother,” he said.

“It really is.” I took a breath. “Why were you so upset yesterday?”

He hesitated. Even though he seemed fine now, whatever it was could be bugging him, and I didn’t want him to feel like he couldn’t talk to me.

After the SQUIP, Jeremy and I were trying to be closer. I told him some problems that I had with our friendship and he told me some that he had. One of his problems was that it seemed like I didn’t always care about what was happening in his life, so I figured now would be a good time to fix that.

“Christine broke up with me,” he said, pausing before adding, ”over text.”

I winced, thinking of something to say. I would probably come off as too happy if I said too much.

“Before you say anything, it’s a good thing. I was upset that she did it over text, but it’s better this way, we weren’t all that happy together,” he said.

“That’s good then!” I laughed and then panicked, trying to tone down my excitement.

He turned to me, a quizzical look on his face.

“For the record, she wasn’t my-”

I cut him off.

“I can’t tell you if she was your soulmate. But why would I be happy for you if you broke up with your soulmate?” I replied.

He laughed as he pulled into the mall parking lot.

“What's that all about?” I asked

He laughed again and looked at me once he’d parked.

“You’ve officially been a Soulguide for all of a day, and you’ve already broken two of the rules,” he said, “you slept on top of me and you told me Christine wasn’t my soulmate.”

“A) I _implied_ Christine wasn’t your soulmate, and that’s technically not against the rules, I can't tell you who your soulmate is, not who they aren’t. Plus B) that rule doesn’t apply to me because I don’t do that Harry Potter shit,” I replied, feigning indignation.

He laughed and gave me a sarcastic “Ok” before we got out of the car and went in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of these days I will become consistent in my spelling of Middle Borough.
> 
> That day is not today tho.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the chapter!


	3. Chapter 3

The mall was crowded. Every shop was full of people doing last-minute holiday shopping. Jeremy and I mostly people-watched. We stopped by Spenser’s to get some Mt. Dew Red and on our way to get food, we bumped into Jake and Rich. 

“Hey, Rich! What are you doing?” Jeremy asked.

“We’re getting lunch and then we’re going to target later. My brother got cheated on so we’re gonna egg his roommate's house. Abby cheated on my brother with him.” Rich said.

Jeremy and I shared a look. Did Rich not know who his brother's roommate was? And how was Andrew cheated on?

“I’m pretty sure that she was cheating on Andrew’s roommate with Andrew, not the other way around,” I said. 

Rich rolled his eyes.

“I didn’t ask, headphones. And how would you know anyways?” Rich said, bringing his hand up to ruffle his hair.

I looked at his hand as he brought it to his head. He had a couple, but most glaringly an orange string connecting him to Jake. Out of curiosity, I looked at Jake's hand. In addition to his and Rich’s string, he had a browning-red string going away from him. Chloe? It’d have to be.

“Hmm?” Rich asked, shaking me out of my thoughts.

“My brother is Andrew’s roommate, Rich,” I said. 

Rich narrowed his eyes and scowled. I laughed in response.

“I hate to say it, Rich,” Jake started, “but I think your brother got played.”

Jake and Jeremy stifled some laughter as I gave Rich an empathetic look.

“At least you figured it out before you egged his house," Jake said.

Rich looked at the ground, cheeks red. 

“At least there’s that,” he said.

Rich pulled out his phone and started texting. Jake turned to Jeremy and I.

“We still have to get lunch, you guys can come along.” He said .

Jeremy said “sure” and we walked to a pizza place for lunch. Jeremy and Jake talked a lot, and once Rich was done texting, joined the conversation again. I have a minor (major) tendency to overshare, so I kept quiet. I did not want to say anything I would regret later.

“Michael?” Jake said, looking at me. “How come you don’t eat lunch with us at school?” I thought for a moment. How do you say “your girlfriends a horrendous person and I hate every second I’m around her” without looking like a douche? 

“I work in the library during lunch,” I lied. 

He nodded, like he’d realized something.

“You're an AP student, right? That makes sense. I thought,” he paused to add dramatic effect, “that you weren’t sitting with us because Chloe can be an asshole.”

I laughed, startled that I was that transparent.

“Yeah that too,” I said, hoping I sounded a little sarcastic.

She was currently his romantic soulmate, and regardless of the color of his string, that meant he did like her. I didn’t want to offend him, but he said it first. 

Maybe I shouldn’t completely disregard the color of his string. 

The conversation they were having before continued, but this time Jake was prompting me to join every now and then. I was a little suspicious, because we had had exactly 0 conversations before now, but maybe he was just being nice? He seemed nice. But he was also dating Chloe. But his string was also brown. But he was also still dating Chloe. 

Maybe I was being paranoid. 

Rich looked at me, drawing me out of my thoughts. 

“This is off-topic, but I didn’t see you leave on Friday.” He said, the “s” in “this” and “see” sliding into more of a “th” sound.

I nodded, trying to disguise my surprise.

“I stayed after to ask Ms. Murphy a question.” 

That wasn’t a lie. I had stayed after school before the test to ask her a question, and if he asked her she’d say I did. It was weird that he asked. 

Maybe I wasn’t just being paranoid.

The conversation slowly turned to holiday plans. 

“Rich, you said you guys were leaving town for Christmas?” Jeremy asked.

Rich nodded. He seemed uncomfortable being asked.

“We’re visiting family in Pennsylvania,” he said.

Jake furrowed his eyebrows.

“You’ll be back for New Year's Eve, right?” he asked, “Wouldn’t want you to miss Dustin's party. Technically, there's no way it's not gonna be the hottest party of the year.”

Rich laughed at the dumb joke.

“Because it’s the first party of the year. But yeah, I’ll be back by then,” Rich said before turning to me, “You coming to Dustin’s party?”

I shook my head.

“Probably not.”

“You didn’t seem like a party person anyway,” Jake said, nodding at my response, then turning to ask Jeremy about his plans.

We finished lunch pretty quickly, and then Jake and Rich went to go find a gift for Chloe. As they left, I had a bad feeling in my stomach, like something bad was going to happen, and it was connected to them. I ignored it and kept walking with Jeremy. 

He had to go home and spend time with his dad, so he dropped me off, and then I was alone again. I stared at the clock, it was only 2:30. It was going to be a long winter break if every time I was alone I was bored. 

In the past, Jeremy and I would spend every waking second of breaks together. If we weren’t together, my brother, mom, and I were, and we would be baking cookies or watching a movie. For some reason, this year wasn’t working out like that.

I decided not to waste my time and to learn some new music. I printed out the sheet music for Kindergarten Boyfriend from Heathers and spent a few minutes learning the piano part. I had learned up to the bridge of the song when my phone started ringing. Seeing that it was the same number as yesterday, I picked up.

“Hello?” 

“Michael Mell,” said the same mechanical voice as before, “you are going to receive a phone call from Stephanie Park shortly. When she asks if anything weird has happened, do not tell her about either phone call you have received from us. Do tell her about the conversation you had with Richard Goranski and Jacob Dillenger. Should you choose not to follow our instructions, you will place yourself and your family in grave danger. Do you understand?” 

He didn’t speak like he was threatening me, but more like the situation was out of his control. 

“I understand. Am I allowed to ask a question?” I said.

The other side of the phone was silent for a long time. I was going to hang up when I heard a woman respond.

“Yes, Michael. You may ask a question, but we don’t have much time.” Her voice was soft and kind, but was edged with the same metallic quality as the man’s. She still had a maternal tone to her voice that wasn’t quite tampered by the robotic sound.

“How do you know all of this?” I asked.

I was shivering slightly on my bench. I hoped she couldn’t hear my voice shaking, but I knew it was.

“We’ve been watching you, and the people close to you, Michael. We will continue to do so. But that won’t be a problem, because you’ll follow our instructions, right?” She said.

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“Good. We’ll contact you again soon.” She said before there was a click on the line and the call went silent. 

I took a deep breath to ground myself. If I told anyone, these people would find out. I hadn’t noticed anyone following us at the mall, but it didn’t mean no one was. I started hyperventilating. There were so many possibilities running through my mind. 

Maybe they had access to SQUIPs. Maybe they had recruited my friends. Or my family. Maybe they were gonna kill me regardless of what I did. Maybe they had telepaths in addition to empaths. Maybe it was just one other Soulguide or a hundred. Maybe-

My phone rang, stopping my panic spiral.

“Hello?” I asked.

“Hello, Michael,” Stephanie Park’s voice responded, “How has your weekend gone? Is there anything I should know about?”

I took a slow breath, remembering what the man had said on the phone earlier.

“Um… My weekend’s been alright. Some kids from my school noticed that I didn’t leave.” I took a deep breath. ”They seemed like they knew I’d stayed for more testing.”

She made a “hmm” noise.

“That's rather concerning. What were those classmates' names? We will look into that. Anything else unusual?” she asked.

I gave her Jake and Rich’s names, but didn’t mention the strange phone call. 

She told me that we would begin a type of mandatory Soulguide training on Tuesday, earlier than originally planned, and then we’d discuss my career and other options for my future. 

After she hung up, I laid on the floor for a while, thinking. 

It sucked that I had this threat of an unknown and powerful organization hanging over me, but being a Soulguide was going to be very cool. 

From what I read online, the training would be easy. The CSDA would teach me how to find a person’s soulmate from just their string, and teach me how to read all colors of strings. Plus some boring ethics and history.

They’d also see if I had any abilities, and if I did, they’d teach me how to use them. Since all of these required real people to practice on, my identity would eventually become public and people could volunteer to help me learn. 

I doubted that I had any kind of special ability, but it didn’t hurt to hope. People wouldn’t be as mean to me at school and I would be able to do anything I wanted. I’ll already be in a good position just for being a Soulguide, but if I had an ability, the rest of my life would be practically handed to me on a platter. 

As I looked up at my ceiling fan, one thought came to mind: Tuesday could not come fast enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the brief break - school happened. 
> 
> This story is now going to be set around Christmas while it will be after Christmas. Which I guess gives me an excuse to draw the plot out longer than I intended. Let me know if you guys are still interested in reading something that has a lot of the plot focused around Christmas.
> 
> Either way, hope y'all enjoyed!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Minor TW: being followed by a creepy dude  
> ~~~~~  
> My computer is broken and the only way I can use it is if I boot it up in safe mode :/
> 
> I know thats the definition of first world problems but its really hard to do anything without a computer lol.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy the chapter.

And it didn’t come fast enough. Even though it was just one day, Monday was the longest day of my life. Jeremy invited me to hang out with him… and Rich, Jake, Brooke and Chloe. I turned him down, even though I might not have another chance to talk to him.

I had training until 3 every weekday except this Friday (Christmas day) and I was generally too tired after things like that for social interaction.

Beyond not being able to hang out with Jeremy, I had to go shopping. My glasses prescription was old, so I had to get tested and pick out new frames. I also was about two inches taller than I was in September, so I had to get a bunch of new clothes, all of which were going to end up as Christmas presents. 

On the way home from the mall, my mom decided to pick out a surprise for my brother at Target, so we had to stop there. The trip actually wasn’t all that bad. We picked out a new gaming laptop for my brother that had good specs, and my mom grabbed a bunch of candy on our way back to the front. 

The store was crowded, but since they added self-checkouts, the clerk operated lines were almost empty. We got to the front of the very short line and the cashier was… Jenna Roland. She looked like she’d been crying.

“Are you okay, Jenna?” I asked, remembering that strangely she’d been absent from their circle of friends on Friday. 

She gave a long sigh in response, starting to scan my mom’s stuff.

“I’m fine. It’s just Chloe. I’m sure you know.” she said.

“Yeah… She, uh, Sucks.” I replied, getting her to laugh and agree. 

She finished scanning our items and we talked as she did. Chloe was being a horrendous person (again) and had told Jenna not to talk to her anymore. She’d also started to tell people that Jenna was a lesbian and had “come on to her” on Friday night. 

I felt really bad, and after my mom had paid, I gave her my phone number and (in the gayest way possible) told her to text me if she needed a friend. 

That wasn’t all that bad of an experience, and I might have forgotten the rest of the day if it wasn’t for what happened at dinner. We were sitting at the dinner table when my phone started ringing, for the fourth time in three days.

“Hey Dad,” I said as I answered.

“Michael,” his voice made it evident that he was even less happy about this phone call than we were, “put me on speaker, I want to talk to you and your brother.”

I obliged, setting my phone down on the table and shrugging in response to the confused look my mom gave me. 

“Boys. I am getting married in April." He took a deep breath. “And I was wondering if you guys want to meet my fiance tomorrow. We’re in New York this week for my work and we’ll be free tomorrow.”

Jacob's face was red and his mouth was twisted into a scowl. My mom seemed shocked, but not all that offended. 

“I’m actually busy tomorrow dad… Sorry,” I said

Jacob added a quick “me too.” and my dad hung up the phone. 

I wasn’t sure how I felt. Six years was a reasonable amount of time to move on from, but this was the first call in three years. The last time he contacted us it was just after Jacob graduated high school. That hurt.

“Fuck him!” Jacob said, clearly not sharing my indecisive feelings about dad.

My mom sighed. 

“It's more complicated than you know, Jacob. It’s not all his fault.” she placed her hand on his shoulder.

“Whatever,” he said, storming away. 

My mom went upstairs to go and talk to him. I cleared his plate and cleaned the kitchen. I didn’t know the conditions of their divorce, other than the fact that my mom had full custody. While it was quick and not particularly messy, I didn’t know what had made their strings turn green and I had no clue if my dad wanted partial custody, but I knew better than to waste my time dwelling on it. 

The following morning, my mom drove me to a small, inconspicuous building near the mall. The air was cold inside and I felt butterflies in my stomach as a guard lead me to the CSDA office. 

The CSDA was fairly well known for being rough on its Soulguides. Past issues of abuse were why Soulguidence was tested in junior year of high school rather than upon entering elementary school. Messing up and getting seriously hurt or dying was a genuine concern.

Stephanie Park was waiting for me at the door to the elevator as I got off.

“Michael! Come on this way,” she said, walking down the hall, “we’ve got a lot to cover and there's only so much time in a day.”

She stopped at an almost empty room. Just some padding on the walls, a computer monitor, and two stools. 

“This morning will be mostly about the regulations you must follow, and in the afternoon, we’ll start building some skills. Okay?” she looked at me adding “great” after I nodded.

The morning was very boring. These were different rules than the ones I’d been given on Friday. After training, I would be able to reveal Soulmates and search for my own, as well as tell other people that I was a Soulguide. So long as I didn’t quit before finishing training.

But the new laws I had to follow would have strict consequences if I broke them. I could be put in jail, fined, or even executed for not behaving. It was harsh, but the rules were fairly reasonable, so I wasn’t too worried.

At least, not about that.

I could not reveal a soulmate in such a way that would put a person in danger. I couldn’t reveal a soulmate to settle a divorce or other legal issue without explicit permission from the CSDA. if I had a special ability, depending on what it was, I might not be able to use it unless under CSDA supervision or reveal what it was to the public. 

It didn’t seem like following these rules would be a problem. 

They provided lunch for me and then we started actual training. We were back in the empty room but the monitor used to show the regulations earlier was gone and replaced with two additional stools. Director Park and I sat down on the stools we’d sat on during the morning and then she turned to me.

“We’re gonna have a couple of our agents come in here and you're going to tell us if they are soulmates. We’re gonna blindfold you, if that's okay?” she said.

I did very poorly on this exercise. Not a single pair of agents was matched correctly, and for the one pair I did say was soulmates, I guessed the color wrong. Supposedly, at least. Director Park wouldn’t let me take my blindfold off at all, not even to check.

It didn’t take very long for me to start feeling disoriented. Half an hour after that, my breathing picked up without my control and my heart was about to beat out of my chest. 

At some point, I must have started to cry because the blindfold started feeling heavy and wet against my eyes.

After only about an hour, Ms. Park cut me off. 

“We’re gonna call it quits for the day,” She said gently as she pulled off the blindfold. “Go home, get some rest. Maybe this exercise was introduced a bit too soon. We’ll try again later.”

On my way out the door, she handed me a large book filled with materials for me to look over and said we’d be doing something less active the next time I showed up for training. 

Stephanie held open the door for me as I left.

“I’ve got to get back to headquarters, in DC. but Agent Smith and Agent Patel, both of whom you met at your test, will continue your training. If you can handle the classroom stuff will let you get back to doing active readings instead of studying, Ok?” I nodded and she continued, “Stay safe, Michael!”

She said it like a warning, not just a polite farewell. It left me with chills down my spine that were distinct from the ones caused by the cold December air. 

_Does she know about the phone calls?_

I didn’t know anything about her. I’d assumed it was safe to trust her, but now that seemed a little silly. She wasn’t my friend. She was my boss. And kind of mean. She just left my blindfold on, regardless of me almost having a panic attack.

It was completely possible that these phone calls were some sort of test made to get me to blindly follow directions. Like military boot camp, or fraternity hazing. 

A car slowed down to match my speed, shaking me out of my thoughts.

The driver, a man I didn't recognize, rolled down his window. A wave of the scent of cigarettes and trash hit my nose.

This man was disgusting in every way I could imagine.

“Need a ride kid?” He asked, aggressively leering at me. 

I smiled politely and pulled out my phone to text my brother. Aggressive strangers were probably not people to get into cars with.

Me: Jacob

“No, I’m meeting up with my brother. He works at the shopping center just down the road a little,” I lied, before taking a picture and sending it to my brother.

Me: this guy is following me

“Oh come on, kiddo. Let me save you some time.” He smiled, gesturing to the seat next to him. 

As he lifted his hand I could see his strings. Or more accurately, his string. A single blood-red string. 

I was getting bad vibes from this man. Romantic strings were a much softer and brighter tone. Whatever made his string this color was something I needed to stay away from. I could feel it.

Jacob: who would want to kidnap some scrawny filipino boy

Jacob: he’s probably not following you

“No, I’m fine, really. I could use the exercise anyway.” I picked up my pace, shooting another text.

Me: no like he’s driving next to me and won't leave me alone

As soon as I sent the text, my phone started ringing. I answered the call before the first ring ended.

“Michael,” The now-familiar robotic voice said, “do not get in the car with this man. Get away from the road, cut through the forest. NOW.” 

I didn’t need to be told twice. The man had been saying something, but I took off through the running before I could hear. Behind me, his car door slamming shut echoed on the empty street. 

When I finally stopped to catch my breath, he wasn’t behind me. I hoped that he’d given up and that he wasn’t waiting for me somewhere.

The voice on the other side of the phone was speaking again.

“That man is very dangerous, Micheal. You need to alert Agent Smith that this happened. If you see him again, do not hesitate to run.”

Still out of breath, I waited to hear more, but nothing else came.

“Why? Who is he?” I choked out, gasping for air. “How can I trust you?”

“We’ll stay in touch, Michael,” he said, ending the call.

After a few more minutes to get myself together, I started walking toward the nearest shopping center. I had almost made it when another car pulled up next to me.

Before I could start running, the driver rolled down his window and turned to look at me.

“Michael,” Jeremy said, “are you okay? You look like ass.”

I laughed, relieved that it wasn’t the weird dude again.

“Yeah… Can you give me a ride home? I'll explain on the way.”

Once I’d told him, Jer was concerned. So much so that he held my hand for a few minutes while we were stopped at an intersection.

“You’ve never seen this guy before, anywhere?” he asked, dropping my hand to start driving again.

I shook my head.

“Not that I know of. It’s not like I just go around remembering every random person I see, though. He could’ve been around before.”

He sighed, narrowing his eyebrows in thought. We were silent the rest of the ride home, but he grabbed my hand whenever we stopped at an intersection.

“You said you grabbed a photo,” he said once we were safely settled down on his bed. “Can I see it?” 

I pulled up the photo from the text to my brother. It was too blurry to be of much use. The guy kinda just looked like every other white guy ever, with the exception of his string.

But it's not like the string would be useful to anyone except for a Soulguide.

“Well, that’s not as helpful as I’d hoped…” Jer sighed. “But did you see anything else? Like what kind of car he drove? The license plate? What his parking pass said? Anything?”

I shook my head.

“Sorry.” 

He looked guilty all of a sudden.

“Hey, this isn’t your fault. I’m not angry, I just want to make sure you’re safe, Mikey.” He pulled me closer to him and pressed a kiss to my temple.

Quietly, with his body still pressed into mine, he spoke.

"What would make his string a different color?"

I sighed. Color changes in strings were not exactly rare, as people changed so did their relationships. (Being a Soulguide wasn't predicting the future; it was observing the present.) But a string changing to that color was not something I'd ever heard of before.

"Maybe he was born with it?" Thinking deeper I started mixing string colors that I knew about until I came to a morbid idea. "Maybe he's in love with a dead person and the colors just sort of mixed?"

Jer slapped my arm and snorted.

"That's disgusting. Is that actually a possibility?"

I shook my head and we laughed. leaning into the hug more, I rested my head against his chest and just enjoyed the comfortable silence.

After a few minutes, I broke the embrace.

“I have to go, Jer. I’ll call you later.”

He gave me another kiss, this time on my forehead, before ushering me out the door.

“Bye, nerd! See you later!” He called after me as I started my walk home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love AO3 but sometimes it does things like 'post a chapter' and then actually put it a month before I posted It so no one sees. :/
> 
> it is what it is. Hope you enjoyed! Please comment any questions, suggestions, ideas, guesses or just general comments!


End file.
